“God, You are the ground of all my seeking.”*
 This morning, 
 Julian’s words flowed into my soul 
 and brought immediate unseen clarity: 
 all the unrest
 all the angst
 all the guttural fear 
 of the days just spent
 was caused by the paths on which I chose to walk.
 Within those days,
 my mouth uttered prayers to the Holy One,
 but my mind led me to roads filled with self-righteousness;
 my heart longed for God’s presence, as it always has,
 but my feet took me to places of intolerance and fear. 
 The discomfort
 the darkness
 the desperation 
 of those places
 (where I once lived all the time)
 took hold of me
 with a vengeance – 
 so much so that
 even when I knew I was there,
 I could not flee on my own – 
 so, my Savior,
 my Beloved,
 the One Who redeems
 provided pure earth for my feet
 through the voice of another,
 and His guiding touch
 through the words of this great mother. 
 Trudge now here, dear child,
 I feel His Love in a whisper of breath,
 and I lift up prayers of gratitude 
 as I experience yet another death. 
  
 *Julian of Norwich