Dear God…

Does it get easier? Some days I wonder when or how I will ever find a place in this world where I am at ease, able to interact with everyone around me peacefully and joyfully. I believe that is what You want for me – for everyone – but I wonder if it ever really happens. It seems as though each time I think I am starting to get there, something else pops up and enters my psyche like maggots belligerently fighting for every last morsel of sanity. They work their way in and leave me sad and unsure. They rob me of the clarity I think I have found in my relationship with You. Some days it is worse than others, but today they are here! I don’t like the feeling they give me as they gnaw away at the confidence Your love has built in me. I don’t like the separation I feel from others as they eat through the faith I have in Your plan.

Dear God, please remove them from me! Scoop them up and crush them in Your powerful grip. I believe you want them gone from me and I know I cannot eliminate them without You. Take them and their nasty hissing in one fell swoop. I know You can and I know You will.

Thank You, God, for loving me, even when I am filled with maggots. Thank You, God, for rescuing me, as I flounder about through life.

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