Last semester, I was introduced to Julian of Norwich.  Her “Showings” was assigned reading for one of my classes.  I completed the readings and wrote the paper, trying to look at the writing academically instead of emotionally…but it wasn’t easy.  I often found myself losing sight of what I was supposed to write my paper on and getting caught up in Julian’s message.  I knew it would be something I read again: not for a class, but for me.

I didn’t wait long to pick the book up again.  I started January with it, reading only about two pages each day since then.  As I read it each morning, I allow the words to sink deeper into my soul.  The warmth of her message – the message she carries from God – is like a blanket that covers my nakedness and surrounds me with a protective shield in this crazy, mixed-up world.

Yesterday, I read a brief portion about how the devil appeared to Julian in a dream after she received one of the visions.  In describing the dream, she used words like “confused debate” and “low muttering.”  She stated: “…all this, it seemed, was to move me to despair.”  When I finished the section, I closed the book and sat quietly for a moment, remembering the message I have heard from others that God doesn’t bring confusion.  When I am confused, I can be certain the devil is at work.

I don’t like to believe this – that the devil is at work.  Unfortunately, just because I don’t like to believe something doesn’t mean it isn’t real.  There is much written about the forces of evil in the Bible.  And all I have to do is look around at the behaviors of the human race, and I can see evil playing out in many ways. I don’t like to believe it, but the devil is at work.

The good news is that when I focus my eyes, my heart and my soul on God and God’s will for me and all those around me, I am safe from that “confused debate,” that “low muttering.”  When I focus only on God, I am moved to peace instead of despair.  Even if the actions of others are hurtful to me, I can stay covered with that protective blanket that God always provides.

Am I confused today?  If so, I need to look to God.