I left 
me 
in Shillington 
over a month ago.
I was just so 
done – 
done trying
done praying
done figuring out
and
done staying 
for the sake of staying.
I sobbed uncontrollably
for about an hour
and then just 
cried
on and off 
until now…
Now,
when I can see 
so clearly
that me
needed to be left – 
so desperately 
she needed to be left – 
her trying
her praying
her figuring out
and
her staying
for the sake of staying – 
she was just too much
to carry.
Now,
I can rest
and 
I can wait
and 
I can welcome
His Grace, 
deep down in 
the creche of my soul
now barren of
me,
completely,
and ready to receive
the space He created
for Me. 

*With gratitude beyond measure for Ann Voskamp’s The Greatest Gift: Unwrapping the Full Love Story of Christmas