Who Is Leading The Way?

A fellow traveler on the path of recovery from addiction often jokes when recognizing her defects of character by saying: “There’s no danger in me getting well!” Since first hearing her say it, I have also thought and said the same thing as I have worked through the daily process of surrendering my will to my Higher Power – and then taking it back – and then surrendering it again. Humor is an important part of the recovery process, and this line has made me, and many others laugh together. 

It is also important for all of us humans, whether in recovery from addictions or not, to recognize our frailties and to know that as long as we are upright and taking nourishment on this earth, we will always have flaws, and we will always be in need of something much greater than ourselves in order to move beyond those flaws into a state of wellness. 

So, this morning, while reviewing the events of yesterday and recognizing my utter failing as a co-worker and employee in a less-than-healthy work situation, I realized something that I need to add to my fellow traveler’s quippy quote about recognizing character defects. What I need to say now, and moving forward is this: There’s no danger in me getting well, as long as I’m relying on myself to lead the way. 

My failing yesterday was not in having human feelings of discomfort, pride, and petty entitlements – we all experience these things from time to time simply because we are human. My failing, I have discovered in the light of this new day, was that I never invited God into the situation. In fact, it didn’t even cross my mind to stop and pray about it before barreling forth with what I had to say or do! Wow – there truly is no danger in me getting well, as long as I’m relying on myself to lead the way! 

This all illustrates for me that it will only ever be when I am consciously relying on God to lead the way that I will be well. Abstinence from using my addictive substances is a great gift for sure. But that alone is not enough. Being well as I walk this earth is the present I yearn to open on today’s path. 

I pray for wellness today, God; and I pray for You to lead the way. 

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