I want to be stone
hard as a rock,
able to endure –
anything
and
everything –
with absolute
grace
and
dignity…

…instead I am
breaking apart inside,
a billion tiny pieces
of faith
hope
and
attempted love –
a heart in shreds
of
loss…

I beg for balance
between the
absolute
of strength
and the
helplessness
of despair –
let me
rest
in Your care.