Over the weekend, I received a message from a friend regarding my recent writings about Father Mychal Judge. The message was lovely – telling me how enjoyable my blog posts were and asking me not to stop writing. Needless to say, my heart was warmed by the message and I felt gratitude to my friend for telling me how my writing had been received.

I have considered myself a writer ever since Mrs. Georig had my 4th grade class write poetry. That first poem I wrote – “My Pappy Makes me Happy” – was the first of many pieces of writing that have served to bring me inner peace more than anything else in my life. Writing has been a way for me to release nervous energy, understand the inner workings of my mind, gather my thoughts and intentions together, and calm my soul. As I have continued writing over the years, I have recognized an energy that ensues throughout and after the writing process that is somewhat indescribable. I feel more alive when I’m writing and just after writing than at any other moment in my day. This blessing is one that has not gone unnoticed as I constantly thank God for the joy He has brought to my life through writing.

The fact that my writing is also helping others is a bonus that I have always dreamt about, but never really believed would be true. Since the time I was a little kid, I wanted to be able to publish books and be well-known for it. Of course, my own addictive behaviors and self-destructive habits had gotten in the way of that possibility for a long time. But, since I have surrendered my life – and my writing – to God, the rewards that have come back are simply Divine. Sure, I’m not famous and my one published book is certainly not paying the bills. However, the wonder that comes to me from writing – and from helping others through writing – is priceless!

Why am I sharing this today? Well, for a long time I was afraid to share any of my writing with others. On certain occasions – like when a professor encouraged me to do so, or a friend asked me what I was writing – I would; but I was always so very self-conscious and afraid of what others would think. Even if complimented, I never really believed that my writing was worth sharing. Now that the surrender of my writing to God has actually taken place, I believe in my heart that God is using my words to speak to someone – maybe just one person who reads it – but definitely to someone. I am no longer afraid to share what I have written because I believe it is God’s will that I write and share it. I feel it in my heart and soul that it is God’s will – and there are very few things I can honestly say that about in my life today!

As I walked through Manhattan to honor the life of Father Mychal Judge earlier this month, I thought of his quote: “Never be afraid to love.” As difficult as it is for me to do so, I tried to make eye contact with people, to smile instead of turning away, to talk to the homeless person instead of just walking by, and to ask for help when I needed it. I asked God to remove my fear and allow His love to flow through me. The wonderful thing about asking, is that it worked! I was able to do most of those things throughout the day – and my soul has been rewarded with inner peace and contentment as I look back at the events of that day.

So, if I was once afraid to share my writing with others – and once afraid to trust God’s love to guide me in a great big scary city – and then able to turn both of those fears over to God and have faith in whatever He chose to do with them – why can’t I do that with any other fear I ever experience? Why can’t we all?

What do you fear today? What is it that is holding you back from taking the next step in your life towards faith? Whatever it is, give it to God. A wonderful little prayer that may be helpful as we step out into today, paraphrased from page 68 in the book, Alcoholics Anonymous is:

“Dear God, please remove my fear and direct my attention to what you would have me be.”