I feel tired today, God. The tired that will never be erased by a nap or a good night’s rest. The tired that just sits in my heart and sends waves of weariness through my veins. Tired of snowy weather. Tired of the same old job. Tired of waiting for answers. Tired of loving the unlovable. Tired of yearning to be loved.
Today God, I pray for the energizing Spirit that I know only you can give me. I ask you to lighten my grip on the outcomes of all that lies before me; and open my heart, mind and soul to your plan, your action and the brightness of your wisdom. I ask you to revive my soul and sing blessings to my heart. Please give me the gift of seeing only the beauty you see – in others, in the world, and all along my journey.
And, somehow God, I ask you to show me that my loving matters. Sometimes it just feels like it doesn’t matter at all, and this is one of those times. I love and I accept and I give what I can, and the response is still a look of disdain or a harsh insult or a one-sided conversation. In my mind, I know my love matters, but in my heart it just feels like it doesn’t. Through you, I know that feeling will change.
Bless me, God, as I walk through this day, doing what I can to carry your message. For even though I am tired, I also know there is no other way – at least not for me. Only through you. Only with you. Only because of you.
Thy will, not mine, be done.
Well said, I suspect you are not alone. A wise person once said along these lines: some sow, some fertilize and some harvest. Sometimes it is hard to be the one sowing and not experiencing the yield.
LikeLiked by 1 person