Save Me From Myself

“I long for strength, not in order that I may overreach my brother but to fight my greatest enemy – myself.”
– Sioux Prayer

“…my greatest enemy – myself.”  OUCH!  It hurts because it is so very true.  So often I find myself slipping back into the diseased thinking and behaving that gets me into trouble – with others and with my own moral code.  It is so cunningly easy to forget the goodness that I have found in following my plan of recovery, as well as the spiritual connection to God that I have gained through recovery, and behave in despicable ways.  I suppose it is so easy because I am human.  OUCH again!

My ego tells me that I am better, stronger, smarter, more capable than anyone.  My reverse pride tells me that no one in the world is as pathetic as I am.  And, my prison of uniqueness tells me that there isn’t another living person who could ever understand the pain and sadness that I have experienced in my life; that there is no one who has suffered as I have suffered.   Basically, my ego wants to keep me separated from everyone I come in contact with on a daily basis.  My false pride tells me that they just don’t understand – and they certainly don’t care.

Those voices are liars, and when I listen to them, I do become my greatest enemy.  Alone, I cannot find the strength to overcome them.  I must pray, like the Sioux prayed, for strength to overreach myself.  I must open myself to the strength of the Great Spirit in order to overcome my own fears, worries, and failings. Through the insight of God, I will be given all that I need to identify my joys, my struggles, my sadness, and my love with my fellow man.  Through the strength of God, I will refrain from comparing myself and my life to others and instead, join in the journey with all those who walk beside me.

It is so true that when I am alone, in myself, trusting only myself, I am the enemy.  It is also true that when I am in relationship with God and others, trusting in His call and guidance, I am my greatest strength.

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