“And can any of you by worrying add a single hour to your span of life?”
– Luke 12:25 (NRSV)

In my own life, I believe this, and for the most part, I adhere to it. By trusting in God, and believing that I am following His call to me, I rarely need to worry anymore. While occasional anxieties may arise, most of my days are filled with an inner peace that comes from knowing God is in charge – not me, not my boss, not the President of my country or any other country – just God. I love the serenity that comes from this surrender to the charge of God, the will of God, the great plan that belongs to God.

So, why, when I am confronted by the fear and worry of someone close to me do I lose myself? Why do I allow someone else’s concern over a matter disturb my mood? Why does another person’s anxiety push me off my peaceful balance? Why must I listen to the diseased voice of another person’s restlessness? Maybe it is because I want to help that person to feel better (aka: I want to fix it for them). Or, maybe it is because that person’s lack of serenity is interfering with my serenity (aka: I want them to fix it so I don’t have to listen to it). Whatever the reason, I end up losing my serenity. Today, that is not okay with me.

Just as I give my own worries, fears, anxieties, and concerns to God, I must also give the worries, fears, anxieties, and concerns of those I love to God. Once I do that, my only job is to continue detaching from those worries, fears, anxieties, and concerns as often as I need to. How do I do that? I pray. I reach out to friends and ask them to help me to not take back those worries. I write a letter to my loved one and ask them to let their worries, fears, anxieties, and concerns go to God (maybe I give the letter to that person, maybe I don’t, but I write it to rid myself of the need to say it). I may even ask my loved one that we no longer discuss the situation or the worry, as I do not see any good coming from rehashing it over and over again. Finally, I might need to remove myself from the situation by going for a walk, retreating to a quiet place in my office or home, or simply being still in the chaos and meditating. Whatever I choose to do – or not do – I take that to God as well. I leave all worrying about outcomes to Him and trust that whatever is happening, no matter how bad I or anyone else thinks it is, is something that He will eventually use for good. (Romans 8:28)

Relationships are often difficult. When a friend or loved one is in constant worry, it can be emotionally exhausting to be near them. During those times, it is important for me to do what is healthiest for both of us. As long as I am acting and reacting with the Love of God in my heart, everyone wins.