“Give me patience to wait on your timing for everything.”
– From Prayers for Emotional Wholeness by Stormie Omartian

I hate waiting. Standing in lines at the bank or the grocery store, or waiting to be seated at a restaurant – I just don’t like it. I want to move it along, and get to what I really want to be doing – which is whatever is next after waiting.

I think my impatience is rooted in the fact that throughout my entire personal journey on this earth, I feel like all I have been doing is waiting. I have never known what I wanted to be in life, but I knew something or Someone was pulling me towards a life so much bigger than I could even imagine. When I received the questionnaire in grade school about my likes and dislikes and what I wanted to be when I grew up, there was no box on that form that I wanted to check off. There was something in me that knew what I was made to be wasn’t on that list. And today, I still feel that way.

Fortunately for me, in June of 2014, I finally made the leap and responded to the constant inner pull I was receiving to go back to school and study theology. Now that I’ve been enrolled part-time in classes for five semesters, I know more clearly than I have ever known anything that this is exactly what I am supposed to be learning. What I don’t know is what I’m going to do with all this learning when I finally receive my degree. Over these five semesters, I have been introduced to some different boxes on the form of life, none of which have made me want to shout: “Eureka! That’s it!” That said, I have also had a feeling throughout these five semesters that I am getting closer and closer to becoming the person God created me to be – and to be doing the thing He created me to do, whatever that might be.

So, I still don’t know…and I continue to wait. In the meantime, I will ramble on here until I know a little more. And, when I know a little more, I will ramble on about what is left that I don’t know. Perhaps the not knowing, the rambling, and the waiting are all part of the patience God is granting me, as I wait on His timing for everything – everything, even the next available bank teller!

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