Recently, a friend complimented the outfit I was wearing and told me how great I looked in it. I responded with an “Oh, thanks. I love it because it hides so many of my flaws.”

I can’t stand it when I compliment someone and they dismiss what I have said through comments like that one; or, any of the following: “It only cost five bucks at Good Will” or “Don’t be silly; I’ve had it for a hundred years” or “Yeah, sometimes I can pull it all together and look presentable.”

Why do we feel the need to put ourselves down when someone compliments us? A psychologist might say that people who don’t receive compliments well have low self-esteem. Or, they might suggest that the person doesn’t feel worthy of the attention of the one complimenting them. Whatever the reason, when we speak disparagingly about ourselves after a compliment has been offered, we are basically telling the other person that they don’t know what they are talking about. Is that really how I want to respond to a person who is noticing something nice about me?

It feels good to know that someone appreciates something about me. It also feels good to tell someone else something I appreciate about them. Is it possible there might be a way we all can respond to a compliment that would allow a moment of appreciation to set in for both the person receiving the compliment, as well as the one offering it? Perhaps it would be best for all of us, when complimented, to simply smile and say “thank you.”