“God, I want what you want more than I want what I want.”
– Andy Stanley

I heard this quote a few years ago while listening to a podcast of Andy Stanley’s entitled: “Follow.” I remember wondering to myself if it was even possible to say it and really mean it.

Since that time, a lot has occurred in my life. I have been blessed with spiritual growth as I have continued my path of recovery from addiction, and set out on a new path of learning in order to complete a master’s degree. With the help of my devoted friends and family, I have faced cancer and a double mastectomy without playing the victim card (even when I really wanted to!). And through it all, I have taken every moment to God, asking for His guidance and grace.

Today, when I hold that quote in the center of my heart…what I find is the absolute need for unconditional surrender..and the absolute willingness to do just that. As I look back over my life, most especially these last few years, what I see over and over again is God by my side. Even when I had my back turned to Him defiantly, He was still there. And, as the veil of ego and denial has been lifted through recovery from my addictions, I have been blessed with that still small voice inside that guides my steps and shows me the way.

I do want what God wants more than what I want – because when I am following His will, my heart is filled with peace. Yes, there are still times of upheaval and confusion; but what I have found on this spiritual path is that even when times are difficult, I am still able to learn from them and grow stronger in God’s grace.

I do want what God wants more than what I want – because let’s face it, when has what I wanted gotten me anywhere good!?!