This morning while reading a devotional, I was reminded of something a great anonymous man once said in relation to the consequences of the behaviors of people with addictions, as well as within the family of those addicts: 

“Let’s stop throwing blame around.” 

While I have always related this idea (and the “blame game”) to my own experience in recovery from addictions, it struck me differently this morning than ever before. 

Allow me to explain why.

I was raised in the family of an alcoholic father; and spent the first 29 years of my life blaming him for my own addictions, failed relationships, and low self-esteem. I played the victim well – until I was introduced to this thing called recovery, and some incredibly wise people who were inexplicably serious about helping me to succeed in that recovery. Those people broke me of my victim attitude by teaching me how to become responsible for my own life. They introduced me to gratitude, and they showed me (mostly by example, not talking) how to surrender my life and my will to God. 

None of this was easy, but it was all worth it and it still is. I haven’t thought of myself as a victim in over 20 years. I have known for a long time now that the only person I can change in this world is myself; and that the only way to do that is by praying every day (often more than once a day) to ask for God’s amazing grace to work miracles in my distorted mind and spiritually bankrupt heart. Because here’s the thing that living out all the principles of recovery has taught me loud and clear: Whenever I’m spiritually disturbed, I’m the problem. 

You might think that’s a self-debasing way to go through life; but actually, it is quite liberating. How so? Well, when I’m the problem, no one else gets to “make” me feel or be a certain way. It is only in how I react to others that a difference can be made in my mood, my demeanor, my personality. And therein lies one of the biggest golden nuggets of living a life of recovery! 

What does all that have to do with how the quote, “Let’s stop throwing blame around,” hit me differently this morning? 

For the last 26+ years, I have related the idea only to myself in how I live my life as a recovering addict. But after the last 14 days, as I have watched the news unfold, speeches made, and fingers pointed, it has become crystal clear to me (culminating in my reading this morning) that the problem we see all around us today is the same problem I walked into recovery with all those years ago – playing the victim and blaming everyone else for what’s wrong in life.   

One thing that always intrigued me when I would listen to an interview with Charlie Kirk, or watch him debate politics and social issues on college campuses was that most times he would bring the conversation back to his own experience in building a relationship with God, specifically with Jesus Christ. Sure, he would make points about the writings of the founding fathers of the United States, economics, big government, free speech, etc., but all of his final statements seemed to grow out of his spiritual foundation of God first, family second, country third. And when he would listen to someone who would be debating from the other side of an idea, topic, or point-of-view than his own, he would often remind them of their own responsibility to better their own life. More often than not, the one debating him didn’t take too kindly to that. In fact, the person often walked away in a huff, perhaps feeling as if they had not been heard or respected. And maybe sometimes Charlie came across as unfeeling. But when it comes right down to it, Charlie was rarely ever only talking about politics or social issues. He was speaking the Truth, as it had often been stated by the Savior of this world, Jesus Christ. And if that Truth upset someone, he didn’t apologize for it. Because guess what? That Truth was not his to apologize for. 

Jesus arrived on the scene when the whole world needed to be saved. The religious leaders of the time ranged from greedy and brazen to spiritually enlightened but cowardly. The pagan governing bodies of the world cared only about gaining more power and money and enslaving those without power and money. The chosen people of Israel had spent hundreds of years in a love/hate relationship with the one true God, complaining about their lives and misunderstanding God’s covenant with them. And the crippled, lame, blind, deaf, mute, and diseased were ostracized from society or, at the very least, thought of as less-than by everyone they encountered. (Any of that sound familiar?)

So, when Jesus showed up and started speaking the Truth about God, you can imagine how those at the “top” of religious circles and societal classes weren’t too thrilled. Because loving God above all things doesn’t gel with gaining power. And when Jesus added the idea of loving one’s neighbor as oneself, that took it to an entirely new level. So, when he said that in doing those two things, all the other laws would be fulfilled (see Matthew 22:37-40), it was the last straw for most – and we all know what happened from there. 

That’s how Jesus rolled. Even if the Truth put him in danger, he spoke it.   

Whether or not you have been to church or read the Bible, I’m sure you’ve heard those ideas before. But here’s something that isn’t often spoken about that I think Charlie Kirk was saying (without saying): 

Jesus was all Love and all Truth, but Jesus was NOT an enabler. 

Sure, Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest” (Matthew 11:28) … 
…but he also said, 
•	“If any of you wants to be my follower, you must give up your own way, take up your cross, and follow me” (Mark 8:34),
•	“Well then, give to Caesar what belongs to Caesar, and give to God what belongs to God” (Luke 20:25),
•	“Stand up, pick up your mat, and walk” (John 5:8), 
•	“Neither do I condemn you; go and sin no more” (John 8:11b).

Jesus was clear that in following him a person would have to give up being selfish and experience suffering (hence the cross analogy). He was clear that earthly government was to be respected. He was willing to heal those who were sick, but insisted that they become a part of that healing process by getting up and walking (aka: doing something to help themselves). And while Jesus was not at all condemning, he was honest about what he wanted from those he redeemed – “go and sin no more” (aka: stop breaking the law, cheating, stealing, lying, etc.). 

I think, in all the debates, all the interviews, and in all the things he said on his podcast and wrote in books, Charlie Kirk was saying something quite similar: 

Let’s stop throwing blame around…it’s time to take responsibility for our lives!

The problem with that statement, and I am writing now from my own personal experience, is that when the professional victim receives that message and is not ready to hear it, it simply provides another great excuse to lash out – at the messenger, the neighbor, the stranger, and especially at God. 

In this case, sadly, the lashing out extinguished the promising life of a brother in Christ. 

For today, I pray that others like him will not stop speaking the Truth of Jesus Christ. 

I thank God for giving me the courage to write this, and post it. 

And finally, in a world where everything and anything is taken out of context to slander a person (as I have seen it done to Charlie over and over again, especially in these last 14 days), I pray to let the opinions of this world slide off my back like beads of water on a duck, and to be concerned only with what my heavenly Father thinks of me.   

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