Dear God:

I know that it doesn’t matter what I pray for because I know You are in charge. I know I don’t sway You away from Your will by asking for things, or solutions to problems, or future outcomes that I think will make me happy. 

You have always provided for my needs, even during the darkest days of my life – most times not how I wanted or thought You should have provided, and yet you still provided, never turning Your back to my ungrateful self-will.

All these things I know and believe to be true – except when I doubt, which is often. Then I fall into worrying and wringing my hands in fear. And that is when my prayers become the tears of a beggar…or the rehearsal of an actor playing an Old Testament prophet: “You are the Lord, the God of all flesh. Is anything too hard for You? * Please, God, I beg of You – fix this problem! I trust You to work in these circumstances!” 

Then I throw my hands up in frustration because I know that even in those surrendered words, You know the doubt that lies deep within my heart, and You know that I know You will not sway away from Your will just because I am asking for an outcome I want. 

And still, I have to ask: Please, God, stop my beloved cat from waking us in the middle of the night. We are weary and we need rest!

Amen. 

*Jeremiah 32:27