Dear God:

I pray – and yet, I still doubt. 
I believe in You and Your power, which is why I pray – and yet, I still doubt.
Even now, as I write these words to You – I still doubt.
I know You are listening, and I know You know all the thoughts and desires 
in my heart and mind before I even state them to You verbally or through writing. 
Knowing this doesn’t stop me from praying to You and writing to You, 
for I long to be nearer to You – and yet, I still doubt. 
How You still love me in all this doubt is beyond anything I will ever understand, 
by which I am so humbled – and yet, I still doubt. 
I wonder now if You are somehow using my doubt to benefit my connection to You, 
for that is what I have experienced You doing in my life before now.  
You have used the hurts, disappointments, defects within me, and scars that have accumulated over the years to strengthen our bond, to intensify my desire to serve You and guide others to You. 
All those things that once blocked me from You now serve as fastening agents of 
hope, faith, love, grace, mercy, and trust. 
You have been able to take the darkest corners of my story, my soul, my diseased mind, 
and turn them into light to shine on each next step of my journey with You. 
So, why then, do I ever doubt that You will do the same with the doubt that invades 
my prayer, my writing, my trust in your will for my life? 
And yet, I still doubt. 
So, I pray today, right now in this moment, 
even as I feel doubt coursing through my veins, 
that You, God, will relieve me of my doubt. 
For I know 
– without a shadow of a doubt – 
that I cannot!

Amen.