Sitting in silence,
I drift off,
following my mind to places
it promises will fill me.
But,
when I get where my mind is going,
I see
just another dead end,
an empty room,
a broken staircase,
that all remind me
to return to You.
Over and over again,
I try to stop from following
my mind,
to simply sit in that silence
and wait for You.
And,
over and over again,
I watch myself allow
the promising pull to take me,
until I am disappointed once more
in my own weakness.
Yet,
I wake again,
somehow willing to try again
yesterday,
today,
and
tomorrow…

…this morning in the dark,
as I rushed around after another thought,
the third or fourth of this sit,
I heard someone
just outside of my mind
call my name,
quickly and gently and clearly –
j e s s i c a –
exposing the distraction
and leading me back.
Was that You?