“The scariest monsters are the ones that lurk within the soul.”
– Edgar Allan Poe

Several years ago, I was introduced to my favorite preacher, Andy Stanley, through a sermon series entitled: “Enemies of the Heart.” (Which Andy also eventually put into book form – a great read!) Throughout that series, Andy pointed to Matthew 15:18-19, where Jesus states the following:

“But the things that come out of a person’s mouth come from the heart, and these defile them. For out of the heart come evil thoughts—murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, slander.”

After listening to that sermon series, I was forced to do a re-examining of myself. You see, the reason Andy’s series was recommended to me was because I was struggling with forgiving someone in my life. The friend who suggested the series had experienced similar feelings herself and believed that Andy’s message would help to catapult me in to the next level of my spiritual life. She was right! Even though I had already been through a good deal of counseling and had completed more than one thorough fourth step inventory in two different recovery programs, this message helped me to recognize that my inability to forgive was my problem, not caused by what the other person had done to me.

When I look back on that time, I remember being a pretty angry person. I was overly judgmental of others, and pretty curt in the way I shared my judgments and opinions. I lived in a self-pitying realm that would not allow me to be truly vulnerable with anyone. My relationships were mostly – if not all – surface relationships. Because I couldn’t accept the hurt inside of me that was causing me to behave this way, I felt the need to point at others in blame and shame. Today, that all sounds like the description of a damn scary monster that lurked within my soul. Thankfully I was shown the only way (and accepted the only way) to get to that monster; which was to get in that scary place and call it what it was. Then, I took that monster out and showed it to another person that I trusted. Finally, I gave the monster to God. In doing all those things, that monster started to lose its power over me. In doing those things, I was slowly able to find my way to understanding and acceptance of the person I was once not even able to look at. In doing those things, I was able to forgive that person because I had been able to forgive myself.

I am forever grateful to that friend for pointing me in the direction of this loving guidance – and I am forever grateful to God for giving me the willingness to look within myself and take responsibility for my behaviors, feelings and thoughts. My heart has continued to experience more and more peace ever since then, and the monsters inside no longer resemble the mask that Michael Myers wore in Halloween. They are much more fluffy today – like the characters in Pixar’s Monsters, Inc.