Dear God:

What if I feel nothing to write? What if I try and nothing comes? What do I do with a blog space that is blanker than any page has ever been? How do I recover from missing a day – or two – or even three? This is what You want me to be doing, isn’t it?

Since Mrs. Georig made me write my first poem in the 4th grade, I have found comfort in so doing. I didn’t know it at the time, but I know it now – You gave me this way to peace. You gave me the comfort in escaping into the page, filling in the lines with the terror, the love, the friendship, the hardship, the questions. Comfort in poems, then stories, then anything that spilled out from my pen. You gave me this way to survive. Isn’t it now that You want me to use it to thrive?

What do I do with it next? Where do I go from here? Is this what You want for me? What do You want for me? My dearest Friend, my benevolent Creator, my trusted Confident, what do You want for me? Is this it or is there more? I think there is more that You want, but is that just me wanting more?

Please show me. I feel like I have been waiting forever. I know I haven’t been waiting forever, but that’s what it feels like. This career – the career that was going to keep me busy until the writing took off – is almost 25 years old. Granted, I haven’t always done my part to make it happen, but I have always known You had it there ready for me. Now, I’m here, I’m ready. If my knowing it to be is wrong, show me that. If my knowing it is premature, please show me that. If my knowing it and writing and writing and writing some more is not enough, please show me that. Whatever it is, please show me. Please show me what You want for me.

Thank You God, for listening, being there, bringing me comfort through words. No matter what Your answer, the comfort is worth it.

Jessica