“It’s so wonderful to get to the point where you are comfortable not knowing everything because you know the One who does know.”
– Joyce Meyer

I am currently enrolled in seminary and working towards a master’s degree in theological studies. When people ask me what I’m going to do with the degree once I’ve earned it, my answer is usually, “I don’t really know just yet.” What a relief it is to say that to someone and not have an internal freak-out that leaves me hopeless and afraid.

In days gone by, I would have had to have an answer for what I was going to do with a degree – well before I started paying for classes. The plan had to be set and it had to be a good one – one that would impress others. Today, that is not the case.

All I know today is that God wants me to learn this stuff. He started nudging me about it many years ago. I spoke with a few friends here and there about the “inklings” that were setting in, and then dismissed them, thinking I would never be qualified or worthy to be a disciple. (In addition, there was a severely resentful side of me that wanted nothing to do with the profession my father had pursued for his entire life!) However, the nudging would not stop. It became especially strong as I journeyed through recovery from my addictions. As the wreckage of my past was cleared away through days and days and months and months and years and years of surrendering my will and facing the truth about who I was and who I wanted to be, God’s nudgings became stern pokes and strong prods. Even after I finally took the leap and enrolled in classes, the nudges have not stopped – and it is WONDERFUL!

So far, I have taken a few classes here and there that have shown me what I don’t want to do with my degree; but at this point, the end game is still not for me to know. I trust that when God knows I am ready, He will clue me in on what is next. “I know the One who does know” – the greatest gift of all!