Recently a friend and I were texting back and forth about a decision she was trying to make regarding a big change in her life. At one point, her text message read, “God gave me brains and He is not codependent – He expects me to do my part.”

God is not codependent! I love that!

There are many definitions out there for the words codependent and codependency. The definition I found to be the most clear is from Wikipedia: “Codependency is a type of dysfunctional helping relationship where one person supports or enables another person’s drug addiction, alcoholism, gambling addiction, poor mental health, immaturity, irresponsibility, or under-achievement.” In other words, it is when we are so unhealthily connected to the well-being of another person that we do for them what they could very well be doing for themselves – in fact, what they SHOULD be doing for themselves but are not (because of their addiction, laziness, immaturity, etc.).

Codependency is certainly not a characteristic I would give to God. God is most definitely not going to do for me what I can and should be doing for myself. Once, in the early days of recovery from my food addiction, I heard someone share that “God is not going to come down from Heaven and take the fork out of my hand. If I want His help, I am going to have to show Him I am serious about this recovery thing by taking the action to follow a healthy food plan and ask for help from others who were already recovering.” What is amazing about this idea is the experience I had when I actually followed through. It took time, but after many days of following my plan and asking for help from others, my obsession with food disappeared. A person who spent over 29 years obsessed with food was suddenly struck un-obsessed. For anyone who has ever been addicted to anything, especially food, that is a miracle. In fact, unless it had occurred for me, I would not believe it was possible. For years, I begged God to make me thin and help me to stop eating so much. But, it wasn’t until I took the action by following direction and letting go of the outcome that He stepped in and did the part that I could not. He saw me turning over my will to a plan greater than my own and He responded.

Today, when I start to think too much about a certain food, my recovery has trained me to stop and ask myself what it is in my life that I am not turning over to God. Is it the food? Am I taking my will back regarding a certain food? Or, am I trying to control a certain situation or person in my life without praying about it or asking others for their guidance? Where am I stuck in my self-will?

God is not going to drag me out of whatever muck I am in while I’m kicking and screaming. However, when I call out to Him and start crawling toward His path, He will pick me up, dust me off and guide the way out of the darkness. God’s hand is ready to pull me up out of the pit of despair, and it is my job to reach for it!