“Prayer does not change God, but it changes him who prays.”
– Soren Kierkegaard

As a child, I learned prayer from my parents and from Sunday School teachers. Every night, I would say my bedtime prayers, thinking that God would be mad at me if I didn’t. I don’t know where that idea came from, but it was an idea that drove most of my childhood – be good or God will be mad at you; say your prayers or God will punish you.

When I became a young adult and spent some rebellious years in high school and college, I stopped praying on a daily basis. I remember going to an occasional worship service on campus, but my prayer life was almost non-existent. I had simply turned my back on the God of my childhood – the one that I believed didn’t like me anyway.

And then came recovery from my addictions. The people who were guiding me in those early days told me that I needed to find a “higher power,” something I could depend on instead of myself. They told me that the “higher power” needn’t be anything in particular, just as long as it was something other than me. I asked how I could possibly believe in anything other than God without being struck down by lightning. They smiled and suggested that I start with an acronym that might be helpful: G.O.D. – Good Orderly Direction. They told me that all I needed to do was follow the direction of those who had gone before me – to ask how they were working their recovery program and follow the suggestions they had for me as I started out on my own recovery path. So, that’s what I did.

One of those suggestions was that I pray every day, asking for release from my addictions. When I shared that I would feel like a hypocrite if I prayed because I didn’t believe God was really there for me, they told me to “act as if.” In other words, just do it…because that’s what they did.

I started praying every day, feeling like a hypocrite. As I continued working my program of recovery, I eventually felt the need to make time during my morning routine to sit quietly in prayer and contemplation. I started getting up earlier so that I could begin my day with meditative reading and prayer, without having to rush around to squeeze it in. This didn’t happen overnight – in fact, it took a long time. It took a lot of “acting as if” until I really felt something changing within my heart.

So many people I talk to these days don’t pray because they think if they don’t do it “right” it won’t work. Or, they don’t pray because they don’t go to church and feel like they don’t deserve to ask for anything. I’m here to tell you that we all deserve to have a relationship with our Creator – and prayer is the way to get that started. Even if all we ever say is “help me” or “thank you” – that is enough. It is in acknowledging our Creator through prayer and listening (open communication) that we invite relationship.

Today God, I pray that all those who are on the brink of offering up a prayer to You will just say it, write it, sing it, or cry it out to You. I pray they will open the lines of communication with You and begin the journey of a lifetime!